You Knew Before I Did

Why didn’t you tell me?

Why didn’t you tell me that you stayed out of pity and not love? That you had stopped loving me a year ago.

I waited for you every day, excited to see you, and all you gave me was a forced smile or sometimes nothing at all. I would snuggle next to you, but your body was stiff.

Why didn’t you tell me that this love I thought we had was just a lie? To be loved is not to be pitied.

I was starved for love, for affection, for emotional comfort, for kindness and you gave me coldness, distance and sharp cruelty.

Each day, I died a little, until I became an empty shell of who I once was. A walking dead person, malnourished and unloved.

Why didn’t you tell me you had stopped loving me a long time ago?

Why didn’t you let me go when you already had?”